Sudden Outburst

I was sitting here in the room while he was asleep,facing the four walls on my own that my thought began to linger…

Realised that I’m actually such a loser.Often than not,I kept my true feelings to myself and never let it out.I should say it’s my biggest vice.I’ve been trying to overcome it but nevertheless,it’s to no avail.Each time and every single time I insist not to give in…there and then…I failed.I FAILED.Of course,regretting the same time.

How should I say ‘no’ without hurting the other person?How should I tell someone that I need some space of my own at times?That sometimes I’m doing it for the sake of that person but ignoring my own will?No offence to whoever but I really have to learn to stand on my ground.No means no.It’s easire said then done.Show me a sign someone.I’m at my lowest ebb when it comes to this.I’m crying inside.Really…Can you feel me?

Well,actually it isn’t really all about this.Guessed I’m having a sudden outburst.Examinations is just a few days ahead.To be actual,11 days more.I’ve four subjects to cover and mind you,each subject has several chapters as well.It all accumulate to hundreds of pages to read up…Not 100 pages,not 200 pages,not 300 pages but beyond that.I’m really afraid that I’m running out of time.Time is so limited yet I’ve done so little.And again,I couldn’t seem to be able to hold myself down with a book.

What is wrong with me?I need some guidance here.I’m so lost for the moment.As though,everything is going against me.I felt like shouting aloud.Arghh…FUCK IT!

Sorry,that was kinda rude.(Not kinda but totally rude) I’m deleting this post of mine when I get back.It’s just a way for me to vent out the anger in me.But if there’s feedback,then I’ll let it remain here to remind myself that I’m such a loser and hopefully there’s some changes in me soon.Sorry if any of my words were harsh on anyone of you.You know…When the tense reaches its peak point,you go insane like nobody business.Lucky that I don’t use @*#~!!

I need a break! Get back to myself again after rejuvenating my soul.End here…

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