Love Hurdles-Been There,Done That

Falling in love can be simple but to defend love can actually be quite tough. There are a lot of ups and downs to go through. The longer you are in the commitment, the more challenges you have to face. However, I’m sure if two people stay strong and have faith in each other, whatever that comes along will just be another passing tornado. But to those who aren’t as strong as they seem to be, don’t let these this challenges tear your love apart. Read further, somehow it is what couples went through in their own relationship.

Stage1 (1-3 months)

At this early stage, the most common problem is communication. I always addressed it as ‘connection error’. Probably because we just started to get going, there’s a limit when it comes to communication. It’s more to ‘think before you say’ kind of conversation. Only the nice and sweet words are spoken out. While the ‘I don’t like’ issue is kept in the heart. Things get explosive when these issue piles up like Mount Everest. And guess what, you end up sulking for days.

Solution: You should have voice out from the beginning. Sad to say sometimes people realize it too late and somehow their relationship was affected. You feel the pain on your own while he thinks everything is in the flow-as a guy, he is successful in the courtship. So lesson learnt, share what you think because a relationship involves you and him.

Stage2 (4-7 months)

Usually in this period of time, we get to know the short comings of the other half. Earlier on, things were in control and the negative points were all hidden up behind the closet. But as we get closer, the truth will be reveal. For instance, he’s aggressive, a control freak…or she’s a cry baby, more flesh then I first saw her etc. No one is able to hide his/her true self more than four months.

Solution: Felt like you’ve been cheated? Not really…Everyone wants to be perfect in front of their loved ones. If he has negative attitude that needs a check, change him to a better him. If he fags, remind him that it isn’t good for his health. Don’t be too hard on him or he’ll never get to be himself when he’s with you.

Stage3 (8 months-1 year)

The matter that arises in this stage is that girls begin to fell neglected. During this moment, guys don’t pay that much attention on the girls anymore. Last time, he used to call often and SMS 24/7 but lately things change. Sometimes not even a text messages from him till the wee hours of the morning although you’ve waited by your cell phone since the whole day. All these can create havoc to your relationship.

Solution: I came to understand that most guys are like that because when they court you, they spend more time on you rather then with his buddies. So now that he has got his hand on you, it’s time to be back with the boys doing what they like to do. Is that acceptable? Well, the guy can do what he like with his friends but make sure he has time for you as well.

Stage4 (1-2 years)

When a couple reaches this stage, the worst thing that could ever happen is the existence of a third party. It does usually happen to couples. When we are seeing someone else, there goes someone offering themselves to us. When we are single, no one seems to be knocking on our door.

Solution: Don’t be caught up in infatuation. The guy may be smarter than your present BF or the girl may be prettier than your current GF; but hold on to your love. If you think that your BF loves you, don’t go for it. Because once you break his trust, I guarantee that you’ll pay twice for it because it’s harder to gain back his trust on you again. It can be a pain on the ass. So look before you leap.

Stage5 (2 years and above)

Although the relationship gets more stable, don’t be too happy about it. There’s one more hurdle to overcome which is ‘BORED’. When two people engage in a relationship for too long, you can’t help but to feel a little bored at times. It’s normal. Same routine, same activities, same hangout place…Who wouldn’t be bored? When this happens, arguments are sure to follow up. Even little little things don’t seem right and pissed you off.

Solution: If both of you always go to movies when on dates, make some changes. Go for a bowling instead. Do something interesting together which you don’t normally do. It’ll help to spice up your relationship.

Well, this is the end of my writing. For those who are in a relationship, tell us if you went through before any of those stages in love and your experience if you don’t mind sharing. As to those who are not yet in a commitment, tell us if you have any better solutions.

I’ll be waiting for your feedback.

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